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Take Me, Break Me by H.C. Brown

Reno Rocket, base player for the rock band Dazed, thinks he’s on the straight and narrow but is his girlfriend just a cover for his confused sexuality? When the new lead singer,Tanner Star, walks in, Reno’s libido snaps to attention. His attraction for the famous rock star is immediate and disconcerting. Performing with Tanner each night blows his mind, and the moment Tanner grinds against him on stage, “curious” takes on a whole new meaning.

Tanner wants more than a lover. He wants a sub, and he’s willing to guide Reno into the world of BDSM. In turn, Reno wants to be everything to Tanner—lover, sub, and partner—but he fears the ghost of Tanner’s old boyfriend will come between them.
At first they manage to find a balance and life is idyllic . . . until one rash action by Tanner plunges their new love affair into chaos. Will Reno admit to the world that he’s gay and face the media and his family’s wrath, or will he deny the love and exquisite attention Tanner’s world has brought him?

Genre: Contemporary M/M Romance
Release Date: April 10, 2013
Publisher: Dreamspinner Press
Excerpt & More

Excerpt:
RENO dashed to the car, shielded by his burly bodyguard, and fell inside the empty limousine. Close behind, Tanner blew kisses to the fans and dropped onto the seat beside him. The interior filled with the scent of his expensive cologne. The door slammed shut and the huge stretch limousine sped off and weaved into a line of traffic.

Reno’s heart stopped, then raced at an alarming speed. The singer’s overpowering sexuality tempted him beyond reason. He drew a breath, weighing the odds. Tanner had made his intentions clear. Reno rolled his shoulders. If necessary, if Tanner got too heavy, he could deal with the situation. Okay, so the singer weighed about twenty pounds more than he did, but he had the ability to defend himself. He pushed the thought aside.

Tanner was a friend, not some sex fiend. After all, Reno had accepted his offer because he wanted the truth about himself. He turned to take in the delicious man beside him. He forced his expression into one of nonchalance. “Where are Dave and Lenny?”

“Ah… they went in the other car with Deke.” With a grin, Tanner met Reno’s gaze. “I wanted some time alone with you.”

“Yeah? Well, I have some questions too.” Reno ran a hand through his damp hair. “I’ve been thinking over what you said about kissing you.” He swallowed hard. “I’m not planning to catch trouble—not that I’m sayin’ you’re infected or anything, man, but everyone knows you’re a player.”

“What set this off? I asked you to have a drink and maybe a kiss, not get down and dirty with me.”

Reno leaned back in the cool leather seat and raised his chin. “Do you remember that scare I had eighteen months ago? When a crazy-ass fan bit me—drew blood—and I freaked out. If you recall, my doctor ordered me to take a whole lot of tests for over a fucking year to make sure I was clean.” He met Tanner’s amused gaze. “Man, after living with all that shit for a year, I don’t kiss strangers. I’m not gonna go through that again—not for anyone.”

“I’m clean and I’m glad you asked me.” Tanner sighed. “I play up the Dom image because it’s good for business. In fact, I’m pretty fucking close to celibate myself.” He smiled. “And I’m gonna have to kill you if you tell anyone.”

“I find that hard to believe. You give off the aura of a sex machine.”

“Yeah? Well maybe to you, babe.” Tanner frowned. “I don’t talk publically about my past. Trust me, there’s a lot about me that doesn’t make the press. If I spill my guts to you, do you think you’ll be more comfortable with me?”

Reno snorted. “I don’t have a problem with you, man.”

“That’s nice, but I’m a Dom, and you should understand that offering me the chance to convert a vanilla, innocent guy is the same as waving a red cloth in front of a bull. I never hide what or who I am.” Tanner gave him a long look. “We’re close friends now. I know you like me, and I’m attracted to you big-time.” He dragged a hand through his hair. “But before we start anything, I want you to be very clear of my intentions.” He gazed into Reno’s eyes. “I can’t get involved with a guy who isn’t prepared to embrace my lifestyle in some way.” He sighed. “I’m greedy, I want you in every way possible, but I’ll respect your boundaries. Do you understand?”

A warm curl of longing wrapped around Reno. I understand you more than you realize. His cock rose in salute to the idea of taking a hesitant step into the intriguing world of man love and domination. To have a Dom willing to bring him into his world of sensory delights made his mouth dry. Excitement mingled with fear and shivered down his spine. His stomach clenched.

Reno wanted Tanner to guide him. He tempered his grin to a smile. “I understand fine. Look man, I’ve known you for two months, and in all that time I’ve never seen you push yourself on anyone.” He leveled his gaze on Tanner. “Okay, warning taken, but I’m a big boy. I know what I’m doing.” He inclined his head. “Why do you remain celibate? Surely, there are hundreds of guys out there drooling over you.

“I’m not saying I haven’t had the odd BJ, but I haven’t fucked anyone for two years. I’ve only ever had one partner, Jamie. He was killed in Afghanistan working for Uncle Sam two years ago.” Tanner gazed out the window, and his shoulders drooped.

Reno considered Tanner’s change of demeanor. His devastated expression spoke volumes. Tears stung the backs of his eyes. He wanted to reach out and comfort his friend. He rubbed sweaty palms on his jeans. “I’m sorry, man. Did you know Jamie long?”

“Yeah. Look, Reno, trust me, you don’t wanna go there.”

Reno leaned back in the seat. His heart ached for Tanner’s loss. “I bet you haven’t talked about Jamie since it happened, have you? Keeping all that hurt bottled up inside can’t be healthy.” He smiled. “I’m a good listener, and I won’t tell anyone.”

“You’re a strange guy. So, you want my life story? It’s not pretty.”

“Yeah, I’d like to know all about you. Do you want the truth about me too?”

“Babe, your life is an open book.” Tanner smiled. “Go on. Shock me with your lurid past.”

“I didn’t mean about my past, Tanner. I want to lay my cards on the table too. I am attracted to you—no, obsessed with you would be a better term. If that means we are meant to be together, well—look, Tanner, I need to find out one way or another.” He rubbed his temples. “This is why I’m here in the back of the car with you. I’m not stupid. It’s apparent to everyone on this planet you’re planning to make a move on me.”

“That obvious, huh?”

Reno sighed. “You tell me your bad boy image is a fake, so if you think telling me about Jamie will explain everything, then go ahead.” He met Tanner’s gaze. “Because I’m guessing Deke will be more than happy to bring me into the club, so to speak. Man, he’s been making his intentions obvious too, and I thought he was only into twinks. But I’m sure as hell not getting involved with some man-whore.”

“You sure have the wrong impression of Deke.” Tanner snorted. “I’ve known that guy since high school. He is very particular about who he takes into his dungeon.”

Oh Lord, now what? Tanner had that “I hate everyone” expression in his eyes, and a nerve twitched in his cheek. Reno squared his shoulders. I’ll be honest and say what I think. Fuck the consequences. He ground his teeth. “I wasn’t talking about Deke.”

Tanner gave him a long, calculated look. He drew a deep breath and let it out in a whoosh. “You think that I’m a… Jesus.” He pressed two fingers between his eyes. “I’m not a player, period. I go to the leather clubs, watch the strippers, and get drunk with the guys. I don’t have one-night stands. I hadn’t considered having another relationship until I met you.” He met Reno’s gaze. “I told you the truth. There has only been one man in my life. When I lost him….”

His friend’s beautiful eyes clouded over with an expression of deep-seated pain. Reno leaned closer. “Tell me about Jamie.”

Tanner dropped his dark lashes. “Nah, some other time.” He gave his head a little shake. “But since then, my cock has become very intimate with Mister Lubed Palm.”

A shadow of pain crossed Tanner’s handsome face. Reno’s heart clenched for him. He had the absurd notion to hold him. Damn! This close to Tanner, his mind had turned to mush. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Tanner gave him a crooked smile.

Reno pushed the hair from his face. Lenny, had previously warned Reno about the new lead singer. Disgusted, he had believed the hype. Reno decided to be up front with the man. “You, celibate, that’s hard to believe.”

“Ah-huh.” Tanner scratched his cheek. “So after travelling with me for two months, you’ve noticed a stream of guys queuing outside my hotel room, have you?”

“No… but…”

“I had a very special bond with Jamie. It was just the two of us, and knowing I was his first and last—well, up to the day I met you, it’s been impossible to think about starting a relationship with another guy.”

“I understand losing a loved one never really heals, but the pain fades a little over time.” Reno dropped his hand. “I need to be honest with you too. I’m not sure where this is going, but you need to know up front that I’m not overconfident starting anything with someone who endangers his life and everyone else’s. You said you’re clean. When was the last time you got tested?”

“You have me all wrong. I don’t take risks—not ever. I gave our manager copies of all my test results for the past three years, and he made me take new tests for the insurance coverage before I joined Dazed. I’m clean period.” Tanner waved a hand in dismissal. “Look, if you want proof, I have my test results in my hotel room.”

Reno shook his head. “No, that’s fine. I believe you—I’m sorry I asked, Tanner.” He shrugged. “We’re all tested every three months. It’s part of our health plan.”

Tanner gave him a speculative look. “Do you still believe the hype about me? Yeah, yeah, I know. I lure men into my dungeon; mostly small girly boys.” Tanner’s gaze drifted over Reno. “So, if I’m into you—what are you, six feet? Your body has the sculpted appearance of an athlete. Like those naked guys in the first Olympics. So my tastes must have changed, huh?”

Reno licked his bottom lip. He appreciated muscle too. He had watched Tanner’s ruthless workouts in the hotel gym. The Dom had a body most men would die for—hard, buff, and without one ounce of fat. Tanner towered over him by a good six inches. The singer had the features of an ancient mythical god, golden skin, and piercing blue eyes to complete the delicious package.

The musician in Reno appreciated the tone of Tanner’s deep, sexy voice. He had the sudden urge to run his fingers through his spiked too-black hair. He curled his hands into fists and regarded Tanner. “I’m an asshole for believing the hype. I’m sorry, man. I should have known better.” He sighed. “You’re probably wasting your time with me.”

“I don’t think so. You’re different from the other guys I’ve met.” Tanner smiled. “You say what’s on your mind. I like honesty.” He touched Reno’s cheek. “You’re not worried about embracing your feminine side, with the makeup and hair styles. I like that too.” He stroked Reno’s chin. “You’re a big guy, and I need a man, not a boy.” He ran a finger over Reno’s brow. “And, babe, I’ve never seen anyone with such beautiful eyes.”

“You’ve deduced all that about me in two months?”

“Oh, yeah, I know you better than you think.” Tanner met his gaze. “You have what my Dom side craves. I need a sub in a high-stress job who can give up control to me in a scene. I’m not looking for a wimp. I like that you’re not afraid to stand up to me and speak your mind.” He rested a hand on Reno’s thigh and squeezed. “You’re everything I need, and man, I wanna kiss you so bad.”

Fuck! His heart beat faster. The heat from Tanner’s palm sizzled up Reno’s leg and scorched his balls. He gasped. The intense expression on the singer’s face spoke volumes. His cheeks grew hot.

Reno gazed at the hand on his thigh, willing those long fingers to knead his throbbing shaft. He lifted his head and met Tanner’s sultry half-closed eyes. Oh, damn. He wanted to kiss him so bad.

“Touch me.” Tanner reached for Reno’s hand and pressed it to his chest. “I don’t bite. Go with your feelings, man.”

The stretch limousine slowed at a set of lights, the engine purring. Heart pounding with indecision, Reno stared out the window. Through the black-tinted pane, the bright shop fronts illuminated crowds of people strolling along the pavement, enjoying a typical Saturday night. Music filtered from a pub doorway. An ambulance siren wailed in the distance.

The car moved on, joining the never-ending flow of traffic across London. Beside them, a row of red double-decker buses edged forward in a hiss of gears and snaked around Piccadilly Circus. Reno searched the anonymous faces gazing from the bright interiors. Most of the people stared as he did—into oblivion.

The squeeze on his leg brought his attention back to Tanner. His friend lifted his hand to stroke his fingers against Reno’s neck. Tanner caressed the diamond stud in his earlobe with his warm thumb. His pulse raced. A tickle of sweat ran down between his shoulder blades. Under his palm, Tanner’s heart pounded.

“Do you want me?” Tanner ran the tip of his finger over the length of Reno’s erection.

Did he want him? Right now he wanted to drag Tanner’s head down to his mouth and show him just how much. “Hell yeah.”

Tanner’s warm fingers cupped Reno’s chin. “Shut your eyes.”

He complied. Starbursts of light flashed behind his eyelids. The warm, intoxicating scent of his friend engulfed him. Tanner’s touch ignited a deep primal need. Hovering on the edge of nervous expectation, he trembled. An inquisitive tongue traced the seam of his mouth. Warm lips nibbled and demanded entrance. A sizzle of unexpected lust rammed into him. He opened to Tanner’s gentle touch.

The heat from Tanner’s body seared Reno’s shirt. The singer moaned low in his chest. His wet tongue invaded Reno’s mouth in an explosion of delicious flavor—peppermint and Tanner. The delectable man caressed and stroked every erogenous zone with gentle care. Reno kissed him back, and their mouths melded together in a primitive dance. Tender, yet rougher than he had imagined. The man dominated him, and he loved every second.

Reno craved more. Images of Tanner fucking him flashed through his mind in a rush of erotic euphoria. As if sensing his need, Tanner moved his chin to scratch his stubble over Reno’s sensitive lips. He gasped at the unexpected thrill.

He bunched the singer’s T-shirt and pulled the soft material from Tanner’s jeans. The desire to touch skin overpowered him. He thrust his hand inside and groaned at the hot, silky flesh under his palm. Fuck, he had never kissed anyone like this before. Flames of passion rocketed through every nerve ending.

He pressed against Tanner, demanding more. With a low, sexy chuckle, Tanner pushed him down on the long bench seat. Reno fell backward, pulling the singer down on top of him. He moaned and ground his aching cock into Tanner’s thigh.

“Oh, you are so fucking hot.” Tanner met his gaze. “So fucking kissable.”
~~~~~~

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